RealTime Coaching Tip #7: Listen for the Coachee’s Story

A competent coach is able to hear what the coachee is saying without projecting his or her own experience onto the story. A coach listens carefully to get insights to help the coachee.

Everyone interprets what happens to them through his or her own worldview and self-view. Based on this, everyone creates his or her own story. By recognizing when and how the coachee is constructing their own story, the coach will better understand why that person is behaving as they are. These insights will give the coach a better chance of helping the coachee.

Everyone views their life through their particular “lens.” It is as if they are sitting in a movie theatre, watching their life on the screen and they are the only person in the theatre. If the coach comes in and starts watching that movie, the coach may think, “This doesn’t look right to me.” The coach may even see himself or herself as a character in the movie, but the portrayal will not look right to the coach. That is because it is not the coach’s movie. It is the coachee’s movie. It is their story— their life as they see it—not as the coach or anyone else might see it.

Bonus RealTime Coaching blog reference: “Name an Animal That Swims”